Hey Officer, Can I Kill You?
by EZstyle
Summary: He's just a nice guy... Don't be so tough on him.
1. Chapter 1

Coffee in hand, Sheriff Caitlyn was spending her afternoon enjoying one of the few pleasures left in her life. Sifting through a few pieces of paper on her desk, her eyes flicked across the reports with ease and practice.

"Cait!"

She quickly found herself twirling through the air, then smashed into another unfortunate officer's desk. Miraculously, the coffee mug was still intact.

"What's up Vi?" The coffee was still warm, a brief contented smile flashed across her face. It was almost enough for her to ignore Vi's violent greeting.

"I heard-"

"Yep."

"But I didn't even-"

"Yep," Caitlyn couldn't help it, it was always such a joy making fun of Vi.

"Fine. Just tell me when the-"

"Soon," Caitlyn said. Vi's eyes were shooting daggers. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to take it this far. Caitlyn leaned back and rested her head on what was formerly part of the soon-to-be officer's desk. Speaking of him…

"Wooooooah…" Benny's mouth opened in wonder. No surprise here, few arrivals to Piltover has ever been able to hold in their amazement. The city of progress was no joke.

_"Pshhh"_

"Woooooow…" His eyes followed the puff of steam as it drifted into the sky. It was all very surreal to him. Everywhere there was a new sight to behold. However, there was no time to waste. His curly black hair bounced left and right as he hurried down the street, only to realize he had no idea what street he was on. Thankfully, there was a person nearby. "Excuse me." He tapped on the person's shoulder. They spun around.

"HEY THERE!" A sense of alarm overtook his body, and it definitely has something to do with the person's unnatural smile.

"H-Hey…" Benny's eyes darted away. The girl in front terrified him, but it might just be because it's his first time being so far from home. Maybe her smile was also a Piltover custom and electric blue hair is popular in Piltover. His parents told him to never judge someone by their cover. "Uh…. Can ya help me with somethin'?"

"Hold on! I'm about to say something really cool!" The girl bit her bottom lip in excitement. Piltover citizen really are strange.

"I'm all ears," Benny did his best to muster up a smile.

"I forgot."

"Oh. Well that's a pity."

"Anyway, whatcha need mister?"

"Do you know where the police station is?" A grin blossomed across the girl's face and a her eyes sparkled.

"Of course! This way mister." She bounded down the streets like a rubber ball.

People in Piltover are weird, Benny decided. But they're pretty nice and courteous too.


	2. Chapter 2

He was late.

That bothered her a lot. If there was one thing that annoyed Caitlyn more than criminals, it would be unpunctual people. She furrowed her brows. On second thought, unpunctual criminals would be worse. She shifted her shoulders, her rifle dug into her back uncomfortably.

She peered down again at the photo in her hand, then lifted her eyes. Still no Benny.

"OVER HERE, MISTER!" A jolt ran through her body.

_"Bam."_

_"Thunk."_

_"Ow."_

By the sound behind her, the rest of the station also heard. The station door flew off its hinges and blasted into the streets.

"Where's that bastard?" Vi stomped through the doorway while Caitlyn readied her rifle.

"Close," She lifted up her rifle and peered through the scope. "Huh?" Her index finger twitched.

Benny was right behind the girl when a familiar loud crack rang out. His training kicked in. Benny slammed onto the ground as a red streak whizzed over his head. He rolled to cover behind a car.

"Man, cities are a scary place."

"MISTER."

"Holy S-"

"That's a tier two swear word mister," The girl giggled.

"Stay here," Benny said. "I'll take care of you."

"Aw… Ya don't need ta worry 'bout pretty-in-pink and the hat lady." Benny scrunched his face in confusion, then shrugged. Must be some local thugs. "Isn't that right, Fishbones?"

"Fish… Oh FU-"

"That's a tier-one mister!"

"That's definitely a modified illegal firearm."

"Rules are made to be broken…"

"I mean-"

"Like buildings!" She interrupted.

"Wait…"

"Or people!" She began shivering in excitement.

"Definitely not."

"Aww, c'mon, what's the worst that could happen?" And she was out. Benny could only look on in shock as the little girl shouldered a hulking rocket launcher into the streets. There was only one thing he could to do, he followed her out. So what if he was unarmed?

Caitlyn let out a string of curses after she missed Jinx, then an even more descriptive series of curses when she emerged, pointing a rocket launcher in her direction.

"Run!" She leaped over the side rails of the police station, Vi over the other. The smiling rocket crashed into the front of the building. A loud boom and shockwaves sent Caitlyn tumbling through the air once again. Benny, on the other hand, was just further perplexed.

"Wait… That's the police station."

"Sure is mister."

"Uh…"

"Anyway, gotta run. See ya around, nice mister."

"Uh… Have a nice day?" His eyes followed her disappearing figure down the street. Then he remembered something very crucial: shouldn't she be arrested? But more pressing matters came first. He hurried to the police station. What was formerly a massive double oak door with pristine white walls lay in ruins. On a positive note, the majority of the compound still seemed perfectly intact. The three-storied building was mostly unaffected.

He saw a woman dressed in purple motionless on the ground.

"Are you ok?" He leaned over her in concern.

"No," she replied. She lifted her hand and pointed at the sky. "Say…"

"Yes?"

"What do you think I should do to a police rookie that helped a criminal blow up our station."

"Um. I think you should let him go."

"Hm… Thanks for your input, but…" She grabbed on to his collar and slammed him to the ground. She bumped his arm through and locked her legs behind him in a triangle choke. Then proceeded to pound his head with her fists. The lady probably said something else, but that would be as far as Benny's memories go.


End file.
